So it is three days away before the big day of when Jesus was born and when Santa should have arrived to deliver those lovely presents.
With the Lockdown it hasn’t been super busy but there were people like me who were getting their last minute gifts today and everyone looked as if they can’t wait for this year to finish, and get Christmas out of the way.
A lot of kids were out in the park on their scooters, bikes and footballs, and I keep thinking it is a Sunday. I really want my life to change as we reach Christmas as I do want a new place to live and have my own space again, and be with the man I love now, who lives local to me.
I am listening to a Roy Orbison song “A love so beautiful” as it documents what a year it has been for me and those that I lost this year, and this time last year I was a total mess, and was being hurt very badly that it still gets to me and I can’t talk about it, without being in tears.
I just wanted true love, I am not a psycopath by any means, I just believe in love and compasion and it was if I had committed a crime by moving away from a place I can’t even think about going back to.
I never want another year like this one and as I listen to one of my dad’s favourite songs “That’s what friends are for” as I was cut up about that too, not seeing him before he died also pulls at my heart because yes he could be a bastard to me as a kid, I always knew he did love me and would have taken my side, all of the time.
He just wanted to show me tough love at times so I would toughen up. I did become an easy target as a kid sometimes.
I have had friends walk away from me this year and others that I have lost through those who were jealous and didn’t want their neighbour to be happy.
I just been told to off for my singing, Fuck off, its my mouth not yours and some people are just spoil arseholes who make out their upset because they think they are a princess.
I never believed that of me and you know what is going to be my moto in 2021 is if you don’t like then you fuck off not me, and do one.
I think we should all do that to jealous horrible bastards as they just have nothing going for them in anyway and like to bring others down with them.
So lets have good Christmas and I will be doing more emails going over this year ready for a new one.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
Carries Versatile Fashion 